1. |
Afraid of Me
02:17
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say they’re waitin until i’m famous, when i make it
Like I aint already burned out on momentum or the patience
I’m out of names to talk about collaboration
cause i blocked everybody with credible allegations on em
I don’t need anymore information on em.
Opting out of the wave of crazy hating on em,
Raking flames ain’t a game I wanna play
Keep berating on em imma look away
I ain’t afraid to take a hatchet to the past
And sack every sap who can only look back,
And I ain’t afraid to let a bad phase pass,
And be that kinda act you’re ashamed to blast
Is that just plain where I was made to be?
wanna be different enough to look the same to me
Talking to brick walls all facing me
Oh are they just afraid of me
They say I’m niche,
Say I sound too unique,
Gatekeeping me from your screen,
Are they afraid of me?
Some say they hate it
Just how intimidating
I can be when I’m sayin
You must be afraid of me
i just ghosted my old clique,
took friends’ word to turn down VO gigs,
made a pact with a band, and damn that broke, and
now in out here again, free-floating
I’m fed up with like every scene,
Not a clique for me that I feel fit to be in.
begin to think too cynically, self critically, to worse degrees.
And personally,
There might me more than than two or three,
People left with less than negative impressions of me
But I say say what I mean, you can leave me be
Let me drop my hot takes in 3 AM tweets
Nobody left sayin make the best of the worst,
don’t know what’s bad til i’ve had better first,
Gimme bars are hardwired from a god with a smirk,
i’m hardly tryin, and i’m makin shit work
They say I’m niche,
Say I sound too unique,
Gatekeeping me from your screen,
Must be afraid of me.
Some say they hate it
Just how intimidating
I can be when I’m sayin
Might as well be afraid of me
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2. |
Hardly Trying
03:09
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I remember when
I never left my bed
People made plans I’d turn em down
(ignore em)
i got sick of that,
got my day back,
but now it’s easier for me to burn out
(overworking)
I never get it,
where are my limits
I’m used to pushing through the worst.
(ignore it)
Back to bed and
I Can’t rest
Cause the things i never felt hurt now
So i get back up cause
I’m too high on a feeling like I never been
I’m too wired to sleep til 2 AM again.
Burning out on your screen, my throat's frying,
But in my head i think I’m hardly trying.
Always in a panic
Never felt I could manage,
Lighting my brain up for fun
(Can’t feel it)
Couldn’t stand around,
Hiding wanting to be found
Waiting for a stroke of dumb luck
(Isn’t working)
Who did they see in me,
Kept me from being me.
Nobody understood enough.
(Still feel it)
Saying they’re useless,
Making excuses
Guess it was easier for me to grow up
I’m too high on a feeling like I never been
I’m too wired to sleep til 2 AM again.
Burning out on the screen, my eyes dry and,
in my head i think I’m hardly trying
Feel like I’m dreaming every day again,
Just some thing keeping me awake again,
Til I’m pain again, I wonder how the hell,
The things I needed make me hurt myself.
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3. |
Misinformation
03:16
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i keep second guessing things lately
feels like i've been getting misinformation like crazy.
that time you met me and our conversations felt so one-sided
saw it in your eyes and
you text me late at 1 AM am I up tonight
on read all night.
so tell me what you said
tell me what you think again
cause i'll never get
you through my head
I've been getting misinformation
never sure i'm right
or quite alright
You've been showing some inclination
but it's out of my sight
out of my mind.
I quit playin games like that
cause people make up rules, just to lose.
keep relaying misinformation,
don't know what's true, coming from you.
so tell me what you said
tell me what you think again
cause i'll never get
you through my head
I've been getting misnformation
(not sure i'm right, or quite alright)
you've been showin some inclination
(out of my sight, out of my mind)
I've been gettin misinformation
(not sure i'm right, or quite alright)
You've been wearing down all of my patience.
so tell me what you said
tell me what you think again
cause i'll never get
you through my head
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4. |
Addictive Personality
03:01
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no i can't see you once and then just leave
can't have you without making you a routine
my addictive personality
makes you all I wanna see.
got me reaching for anoother
make me feel like waking up late in early summer
but it's winter and i'm freezing
i'm not feeling anything.
And when seasons start speeding
you never leave so I can think.
no i can't see you once and then just leave
can't have you without making you a routine
my addictive personality
can't get enough of you with me
you keep me out of spirals when I'm uptight
you feel like sunset and sunrise, when it's midnight.
when times aren't fine you say I'm alright.
Why do I listen?
no i can't see you once and then just leave
bad habits falling into bad routines
my addictive personality
can't get enough of you with me
I really thought that I was getting better
i felt like i had everything together
no, I don't really need you
I'm glad I got to meet you,
but why did I believe you?
no i can't see you once and then just leave
can't have you without making you a routine
my addictive personality
can't get enough of you with me
lost in ways I still don't believe,
withdrawal hits even if I know I don't need it,
my addictive personality
makes you all I wanna see.
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5. |
Overcast
03:09
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Everything is always fading out and wasting away
Everybody always trying hardly finding a way, through
What an oxymoron is an honest actor
Let em go on, tell you what they’re after,
You’ll see more than what it is you ask for,
Nothing you can change, nothing to say that’ll factor in
Are you dreaming when you shouldn’t be?
Are you feeling all you couldn’t see?
Are you healing and breathing in, even if, leaving it, meaningless,
and are you sure
the future's overcast
cause it ain't storming yet
and when the thunder cracks,
the wind says take the calm you get
I can't let it rest when I feel all of this at stake
the eleventh hour's followed by another day
Nothing given nothing taken, nothing hiding away
Everybody gave up trying, only lying in wait.
Burning through their time, so unaware of it,
Turning off their minds, to avoid it scaring em.
Hurting other kinds of souls that tried to care a bit,
no, never fair to them.
Are you dreaming when you shouldn’t be?
Are you feeling all you couldn’t see?
Are you healing and breathing in, even if, leaving it, meaningless,
and are you sure
the future's overcast
cause it ain't storming yet
and when the thunder cracks,
the wind says take the calm you get
I can't let it rest when I feel all of this at stake
the eleventh hour's followed by another day
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6. |
Ready
03:02
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Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Hardly any time to get another thought
On a bad path hackin at it madly,
Never mind you can’t see,
You Can’t stop
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Argumentative, mentally distraught.
If you wanna emulate a god,
Then show me what you got,
Ready or not?
You’re gonna put a pen to a paper,
And you’re gonna like it, like it
You’re gonna wanna shelve for later,
Somewhere you’ll never find it, find it
You’re gonna put your head to the test now,
I know you don’t wanna burn your nerves out
Head signals clipping into red now
Jackhammer’s put to work
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Hardly any time to get another thought
On a bad path hackin at it madly,
Never mind you can’t see,
You Can’t stop
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Argumentative, mentally distraught.
If you wanna emulate a god,
Then show me what you got,
Ready or not?
Should a put a heart in the words I write
Woulda coulda started earlier than 10 at night
Good at lookin hard to find the right light
to brighten up my tries at lines cause I know
They’re gonna judge every facet.
What it’s about, the sound and how long it lasts and
It’s just you, and your tools, and vibes that move,
Fight excuses, then fuck a try, just do it
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Hardly any time to get another thought
On a bad path hacking at it madly,
Never mind you can’t see,
You Can’t stop
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Argumentative, mentally distraught.
If you wanna emulate a god,
Then show me what you got,
Ready or not?
You'll never get to the end, no
if you're not ready
for anything
Ready or not, oh ready or not,
Hardly any time to get another thought
On a bad path hackin at it madly,
Never mind you can’t see,
You Can’t stop
Are you ready, don’t tell me that you’re not.
Argumentative, mentally distraught.
If you wanna emulate a god,
Then show me what you got,
Ready or not?
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7. |
It's Different
03:49
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be kinder to your mind internalizing why you left
and let it go
reminders of reminders i try to forget
no, another something won't let me go
another something I hardly know
are you listening to the silence, in hiding,
alone
let me go
darker dreaming that I shouldn't have
nine times more than i should have had
let me go,
finding echoes, below the death throes, i know
but another something won't let me go
another something I hardly know
are you listening to the silence, in hiding,
alone
maybe love is something I'll never know
another something won't let me go
it's difficult feeling love
it's different when you're stuck under something
I wish that I was done with this
I wish that I could run from this
wish I knew to recover
some way to rediscover
the me I must have never been.
but another something won't let me go
another something I hardly know
are you listening to the silence, in hiding,
alone
maybe love is something I'll never know
another something won't let me go
it's difficult feeling love
it's different when you're stuck under something
I wish that I was done with this
I wish that I could run from this
wish I knew to recover
some way to rediscover
the me I must have never been.
Won't let me go,
let me go.
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caseJackal Kenosha, Wisconsin
A stray birdsong from another universe's Jupiter.
Support my Patreon to keep me making music.
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