1. |
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2. |
||||
|
It's long past sunset
The weather's less than mild
I gotta walk, 'cause most of where I go is
Less than a mile away
And I
Miss the quiet
I miss the dark
I miss all the things we had before it fell apart
In the shadows of the flicker-fading
There's no one celebrating
There's no more solstices
You wonder why that is
When all of us don't like how the world turns
Plotting out our lives on detailed charts
Though some of you may want the world to burn
The rest of us wish we could see the stars
Though it's hard to see though all the fake lights
But the stars are out tonight
The stars are out tonight
Tripping on pavement cracks
Sidewalks uneven
The faces come and go
But they're all talking leavin'
'cause they say they hate it here
I wouldn't disagree
But if you think the skies are clearer there
You'll be lost when all you see are
Shadows in the flicker-fading
And no one celebrating
There's no more solstices
You wonder why that is
When all of us don't like how the world turns
Plotting out our lives on detailed charts
Though some of you may want the world to burn
The rest of us wish we could see the stars
Though it's hard to see though all the fake lights
But the stars are out tonight
The stars are out tonight
Though it's hard to see though all the fake lights
But the stars are out tonight
|
||||
3. |
||||
4. |
Here & Now [Backing]
03:38
|
|||
|
Free as a bird, where I roam, I’m gliding
Wheels can turn, if they slow, I’m still flying
I’m rising, this sight is not all I've known
We call it home
Far from alone
And now i’m folding up an air mattress
After my friends left
In a Discord call
Hearin’ after all
The rise and fall
Sounds like i found my place
Made it back to solid ground
If I’ve changed they can wonder how
More to convey
Than what words can say
But we’re here for now
Cause time flies by like that
I’d agonize and it tied me back
Why redefine the past when
When life decides to come around
I’ll be here for now
In the here and now
I’ll be here for now
When life decides to come around
I’ll be here for now
And now i’m staring at a notes app page
With a cavalcade of blanks to fill
Inked up quills, no time to kill
But rhymes in spades
Made it back to solid ground
Nowadays I let ‘em wonder how
More to convey
Than what words can say
But I'm here for now
Cause time flies by like that
I’d agonize and it tied me back
Why redefine the past when
When life decides to come around
I’ll be here for now
When life decides to come around
I’ll be here for now
In the here and now
I’ll be here for now
When life decides to come around
I’ll be here for now
|
||||
5. |
Human [Instrumental]
03:46
|
|||
6. |
Human [Backing]
03:46
|
|||
|
Been out of sync, been out of balance
I’m not the happiest thing, but i’m not the saddest
But i’ve had it with addictions
And every name they have for it
Every starstruck heart, going mad for it
Every spark gone dark, wouldn’t ask for it
With the cracks pouring out
To bide my time
I memorize syllables
Clinical emotions
Cyclical chemicals with little motive
No way through it all
Don't want to move at all
Don't want to move
We all get demons looming
I'm live evidence to prove it
Protect what we get should we lose it
When we forget what it means to be human
Human, Human
Sometimes we forget what it means to be human
Human, Human
Sometimes we forget what it means to be
I found another few words
Another few colors
Every tint or hue I learned and knew
Is yet another whole shade of other
Headspace fractals lookin for even more to cover
And every line gets blurred
So we draw another
And draw another
And
To bide my time
I memorize syllables
Clinical emotions
Cyclical chemicals with little motive
No way through it all
Don't want to move at all
Don't want to move
We all get demons looming
I'm live evidence to prove it
Protect what we get should we lose it
When we forget what it means to be human
Human, Human
Sometimes we forget what it means to be human
Human, Human
Sometimes we forget what it means to be
Human
|
||||
7. |
||||
8. |
Odd One Out [Backing]
03:49
|
|||
|
You’re an odd one, aren’t you?
I've seen enough that you’ve gone through
Though I don’t know much about you,
I have no reason to doubt you.
In the claws of a secret,
I’m not sure who made you keep it.
Although the earth may conceal it
through the clouds, you reveal it.
Some fears are delicate,
And melt when I forget,
Wicked with my regrets,
As I watched a swirling flame.
Some could have it worse,
Oh how lucky you were
to live as if you’re cursed,
though you’ve always been this way.
You've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out.
From the inside out.
You've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out.
You’re an odd one, aren’t you?
I have reasons to doubt you.
I don’t know much about you.
I don’t care what you’ve gone through.
To me you’re a punchline,
So keep your life to the sidelines,
and unless I need private pass-times.
Get Out of sight, out of my mind.
Some melt their wings too young
And never see the sun,
Afraid of what some call fun,
In burns and scornful flames.
Some may have it worse,
Oh how lucky you were.
Don’t live as if you’re cursed,
If you’ve always been this way.
You've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out.
From the inside out.
You've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out,
you've been an odd one out.
|
||||
9. |
Aesthetic [Instrumental]
03:39
|
|||
10. |
Aesthetic [Backing]
03:39
|
|||
|
The zeitgeist stood stagnant
Now I'm an inquiry magnet
Though I don't have any good answers
I could give you something to look at
I'd welcome the shades we had
But my spectrum's a wider gamut
And hot and cold are only poles
of a whole emotional palette
So I'll be what I want to be
I don't give a damn what you want to see
I'm more than a phase or a novelty
Pronoun debates ain't compellin' me
Tellin' me
"Hey, give it up, this is some new fad
And after long enough trends all pass
Why can't you just be less like
That"
I don't know, I do me
You do you, man
No, I don't give a damn if I don't look good to you
Get mad at that or get used to it
Might not get it, don't try, don't stress
But I'm about my aesthetics
I don’t give a damn if I don’t look good to you
If you’re mad, you can get used to it
Might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
But i’m about my aesthetics
So what if I don’t look good to you
Give it up, I’ve heard it all, this ain’t new
You might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
I'm on my aesthetic
I got playlists, got color schemes
Not a one note chord, I need at least three
My harmony is what you call rebelling
If you ain’t buying it, i ain't selling
My atmosphere projects from me
My ID ain't accessory
But my body sure as hell is
My style damn well is
My vibe comes out in aesthetics
No, I don’t give a damn if I don’t look good to you
If you’re mad, you can get used to it
Might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
But i’m about my aesthetics
So what if I don’t look good to you
Give it up, I’ve heard it all, this ain’t new
You might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
I'm on my aesthetic
I look like i just showed up
From somewhere that you might have once heard of
Nebulous earth-tone lunatic, good enough
Good enough, Good enough
More than one way to sing
No flags or symbols in sync with me
Call me crazy,
I prefer gold, sage, and navy,
No, I don’t give a damn if I don’t look good to you
If you’re mad, you can get used to it
Might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
But i’m about my aesthetics
So what if I don’t look good to you
Give it up, I’ve heard it all, this ain’t new
You might not get it, don’t try, don’t stress
I'm on my aesthetic
Aesthetic
|
||||
11. |
||||
12. |
Twenty Four [Backing]
05:16
|
|||
|
Mirrors might be semi-silvered
Like I tried too hard to be
Its a fear that gives me shivers
Are they looking back at me
I’m done putting walls up on the fly
And bluffing out battle cries
Running and hiding from life
‘til the end of another july
Talk I’ll tell you I’m fine
While I up a tally of tries
Between demo track and finalized
And who would bat an eye?
Too many phrases I got out in parentheticals
Were the days wasted chasing hypotheticals
Or did that God I’m drawing pull me through my obstacles
Regardless of that here I am
I left a gap to the way the it was before
Some words are cursed to hurt me more
But none seemed to follow me home
Oh I know I’m so lucky
No part of me i’m looking for
All by 24, oh
24, 24, 24
24, 24, 24
I didn’t wake up like new
With a mission
Talking to the air when it knew, i listened
Reason with the waves, when the few couldn’t get it
Down to earth, lighting fires in heavens
I prayed for love and some fell out of it
Had a chance, but needed life spelled out a bit
Habits kept me numb to too many parts of this
but my heart felt all of it
Before we get into the same boat
I gotta build one myself
Too many seas to roam
Too many tales to tell
But the tides don’t pull me down
Asked them too, what life’s about
My heart’s on fire
My soul too frozen cold to put it out
So I gave life time for the smoke to clear
Now I can take deep breaths of the atmosphere
No tying me down I’m still here
Oh I know I’m so lucky
No pieces of me I’m looking for
Life at 24, oh
24, 24, 24
24, 24, 24
And what was thought of me as my best
Was just a willingness to say yes
To anything anyone said
Without a clue what it meant
If you saw a character in me
You got one, just not what you wanted to see
Would it be easier if that was me
And if I put myself in that frame of mind
My eyes tear up and the words run dry
It’s not something I can control
Living in the moment keeps my sights off of before
'cause I couldn’t need much more
It’s every thing I asked you for
It’s enough to say that i’ve through hell
But judging that i’d say it worked out well
Setbacks that i could afford
I put my past in melodies that don’t hurt anymore
Alive at 24, oh
24, 24, 24
24, 24, 24
|
||||
13. |
||||
14. |
||||
|
You don’t gotta talk down for fun
I’m on the up and up
I sing woes at the top of my lungs
I’m on the up and up
My habits, my concerns
All the needs that I put first
Paints me a different world
Than you’re used to
Than you’re used to
Spare chatter I’ve heard
Never matters, in so many words
I stick around long enough I learn
What parts are see through
Are see through
Hunt status in the wild
Wear cliques like a style
Gossip like high school
Can’t calm your inner child
Lucky for me mine’ll
Only rhyme these days
Don’t waste my time
I got no more mind for the
"He said, she said,
They said, we said,"
Asking me not to tell
I got reasons, reasons
Why I don’t even
Let you all under my shell
Getting heated, heated
Can you say you mean it?
You got a need make everyone feel it
When in a day you’re over what sent you reeling
So I don’t know what the hell
Looking down doesn’t hold up well
I’m on the up and up
You don’t gotta talk down for fun
I’m on the up and up
I sing woes at the top of my lungs
I’m on the up and up
I’m keeping
My speed
And it seems to work for me
I ain't living lavishly
But I get all I need
To chase a dream
You hunt status in the wild
Wear cliques like a style
Gossip like high school
Can’t calm your inner child
Lucky for me mine’ll only rhyme these days
Don’t waste my time
Got no more mind for the
"He said, she said,
They said, we said,"
Asking me not to tell
I got reasons, reasons
why I don’t even
Let you all under my shell
Getting heated, heated
Can you say you mean it?
You got a need make everyone feel it
When in a day you’re over what sent you reeling
So I don’t know what the hell
Looking down doesn’t hold up well
I’m on the up and up
You’ll pick up somehow
Cycles spin around
Same choice playing out
And just givin up
And when you’re slowing back down
I’ll be keeping on the up and up
So don’t come at me talking
"He said, she said,
They said, we said,"
Asking me not to tell
I got reasons, reasons
why I don’t even
Let you all under my shell
Getting heated, heated
Can you say you mean it?
You got a need make everyone feel it
When in a day you’re over what sent you reeling
So I don’t know what the hell
Looking down doesn’t hold up well
I’m on the up and up
|
||||
15. |
||||
16. |
Easy Way Out [Backing]
03:14
|
|||
|
My amp’s turned up loud
The key begging me to shout
I still don’t know what about
In my head's all dark with charts sorting information
Sometimes I get a candle lit inspiration
And I can stoke it usually I blow it out
confidence comes with doubts
Let’s work it out, like
I’m writing graffiti on the walls around the block in my writing process
Don’t you pry into this
I can try to insist
but eventually I know
I got more of my soul to show
So here we go, like
My amp’s turned up loud
The key begging me to shout
I still don’t know what about
Sometimes I take the easy way out
Sometimes I take the easy way out
I got more to do, more to see
I’m perusing through my memory
If I only knew a rhyme that fit the line and also what I mean
I wouldn’t want to scream
My amp’s turned up loud
The key begging me to shout
I still don’t know what about
Sometimes I take the easy way out
Sometimes I take the easy way out
Theres beatings in my chest
With meanings I can’t express
Feelings I put to rest
When I feel inadequate
Grammar ain’t the best
Consonances set
Consonants are pests
As deep as it gets
Dropping all regrets
My amp’s turned up loud
The key begging me to shout
I still don’t know what about
Sometimes I take the easy way out
Sometimes I take the easy way out
|
||||
17. |
Sunrise [Instrumental]
04:16
|
|||
18. |
Sunrise [Backing]
04:16
|
|||
|
Happenstance
Walking lines
Made us dance
Off to the side
Of these tracks
Out of the past
Where life collided
And we dredged
Around winding turns
Straight ahead
Nothing sure but the dirt
But determined
To survive
To see a glimpse of the brighter side
If fear is a cliff to climb
I’ll meet you at the summit
We'll cheer when we’ve done it all right
Shine lights over darkness
Not a spark left to hide from our sight
And we’ll climb until our arms burn through
Up to a sunrise view
Though life feels out of tune
But that sun will rise for you
When the earth has done it all the sun will rise for you.
When the day has burned enough your heart will beat in tune.
And you saw me on a pile of twisted metal from the crash that burned
I didn’t think I’d needed saving but I knew all my praying had been heard
If fear is a cliff to climb
I’ll meet you at the summit
We'll cheer when we’ve done it all right
Shine lights over darkness
Not a spark left to hide from our sight
We’ll climb till our arms burn through
Up to a sunrise view
This part feels out of tune
but my heart beats right with you
When the earth has done it all the sun will rise for you.
When the day has burned enough your heart will beat in tune.
We were scattered from the darkest part of night coming out of a storm
Looking for warmth
And I listened to your plights, the fights we never asked for
So, if fear is a cliff to climb
I’ll meet you at the summit
We'll cheer when we’ve done it all right
Shine lights over darkness
Not a spark left to hide from our sight
We’ll climb till our arms burn through
Up to a sunrise view
Though life feels out of tune
But that sun will rise for you
When the earth has done it all the sun will rise for you.
When the day has burned enough your heart will beat in tune.
When it all is out of tune my heart can sing with you
When it all is out of tune my heart can sing with you
|
||||
19. |
Bleedin' [Instrumental]
04:09
|
|||
20. |
Bleedin' [Backing]
04:09
|
|||
|
They read the books I should have read
They said the things I should have said to you
And took your hand, without a doubt
I had my head stuck in the clouds
I dreamt of scenes where we could meet
Between earth’s veins and its colors to set our feet
And they took your hand without a doubt
I had my head up in the clouds
But all I wanted was for you to say
That I could be enough for you to stay
And when I’m bleeding
It never hits the floor
And when I’m bleeding
It heals back but leaves me sore
When I’m done feeling
Like I can’t breathe without a key right to your heart
Maybe mine won’t beat so hard
I’d fly across the world for you
Whatever place it lead me to, for you
They took your hand without a doubt
And maybe it hurt to see you out
And all I wanted was for you to say
That I could be enough for you to stay
And when I’m bleeding
It never hits the floor
And when I’m bleeding
It heals back but leaves me sore
When I’m done feeling
Like I can’t breathe without a key right to your heart
Maybe mine won’t beat so hard
And when I’m bleeding
It never hits the floor
And when I’m bleeding
It heals back but leaves me sore
And now I’m seeing
The keys I had could only unlock someone’s heart
But standing at an open door won’t get you far
|
||||
21. |
Waves [Instrumental]
03:45
|
|||
22. |
Waves [Backing]
03:45
|
|||
|
Horizons are pulling in
These sails are whistlin
I’ve heard complaints that I always see the sun
But I’ve got to carry on
My lungs are filling
With tales of what could’ve been
This weather suggesting that I ought to stay in
But I know where i'll be
For whatever adventures are set in front of me
I built this boat, now I'll take it to sea
And I can't tell you how it looks from this perspective
but you'll never get as good a view just guessing
And you're never gonna find it on the path you're taking
and the cycles never end with the words, they're saying
Don't let go of the way you've paved for me
Throw yourself into a light you see
And you think you're entitled to an open sea
But the waves go up
And it's not enough for me
They write their sympathies
That they root in apathy
Mirages building up to block the view
Ain’t fooling me because
I’ve got experience
Layered in innocence
And I’ll ride these tides forevermore
But I know where i'll be
For whatever adventures are set in front of me
I built this boat, now I'll take it to sea
And I can't tell you how it looks from this perspective
But you'll never get as good a view just guessing
And you're never gonna find it on the path you're taking
And the cycles never end with the words, they're saying
Don't let go of the way you've paved for me
Throw yourself into a light you see
And you think you're entitled to an open sea
But the waves go up
And it's not enough for me
And I can't tell you how it looks from this perspective
But you'll never get as good a view just guessing
And you're never gonna find it on the path you're taking
And the cycles never end with the words, they're saying
Don't let go of the way you've paved for me
Coming out of a manmade fantasy
There's a thousand ways out if you're ever on your feet
But the waves go up
And it's not enough for me
|
||||
23. |
||||
24. |
What If I... [Backing]
03:08
|
|||
|
What if I tried to be
More than the world might ask of me
Put in work at first on plans to see
What if I had it all
What if I caught my dreams
Made my reality meet fantasy
I could find what it’s like for life to go right
What if I had it all
I could stay, build a palace in a place I call home
Sit back, relax, since i’m never all alone
With space for familiar face and soul to roam
And half my life left to go
What if I had it all
What if I reached my peak
No gaps between ideals and me
No distractions, or wants, petty actions, or faults
If I had none at all
What if I had no needs
What if I had everything destined to come to me
And I know, I’m a low-life, with no right but
If I had none at all
I could stay, build a palace in a place I call home
Sit back, relax, since I’m never all alone
With space for familiar face and soul to roam
And half my life left to go
I could run off, somewhere as nowhere as where I’m from
And you’d still see me everywhere all over all at once
Help every friend who’s got a problem falling on their luck
And still have more than enough
|
||||
25. |
Friends [Instrumental]
02:24
|
|||
26. |
Friends [Backing]
02:24
|
|||
|
Another day rolls to a close
Another saying I don’t know
And all the waiting for an old song to come to me
I’ve pictured times we sit and talk
Sparing our minds from off-put thoughts
Hearsay or vibes and false recall
We’d both believe
But believe me
Nothing was asked of me
That made it hard for me
How many times
Had I practiced my “I’m sorry”
And life moves on
Wherever I went wrong
With friends like these
We had too much to lose
A passing thought can get drowned out
Faster than I could shut my mouth
Secrets we knew to talk around
When too ashamed to show
Lets pull the words out of focus
Until our blurs can both adjust
We’re not the best at mending trust
Not on our own
But now I know
So much was asked of me
It's hard to find harmony
How many fucking times
Did I have to say I'm sorry
And life moves on
Wherever I went wrong
With friends like these
I see what I can do
With lives like these
I feel I'm listened to
And with friends like these
I think that story’s through
|
||||
caseJackal Kenosha, Wisconsin
A stray birdsong from another universe's Jupiter.
Support my Patreon to keep me making music.
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