1. |
(like to)
01:14
|
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I like to dream into the day until it’a dark
I like to scheme , but always leave it all in parts.
I like to plan what I would do
I’d like to have some follow through.
I tend to spend unending time away,
instead of acting on the things I say.
I try to plan everything through
I see what I need to do…
Composure sinking
You’ll be alright
You’re overthinking
Write.
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2. |
Afraid of Me
02:16
|
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say they’re waiting until i’m famous, when i make it
Like I aint already burned out on momentum or the patience
I’m out of names to talk about collaboration
cause i blocked everybody with credible allegations on em
I don’t need anymore information on em.
Opting out of the wave of crazy hating on em,
Raking flames ain’t a game I wanna play
Keep berating on em imma look away
I ain’t afraid to take a hatchet to the past
And sack every sap who can only look back,
And I ain’t afraid to let a bad phase pass,
And be that kinda act you’re ashamed to blast
Is that just plain where I was made to be?
wanna be different enough to look the same to me
Talking to brick walls all facing me
Oh are they just afraid of me,
see,
They all say I’m niche,
They say I sound too unique,
Gatekeeping me from your screen,
Are they afraid of me.
Some say they hate it
Just how intimidating
I can be when I’m sayin
You must be afraid of me.
i just ghosted my old clique,
took friends’ word to turn down VO gigs,
made a pact with a band, and damn that broke, and
now in out here again, free-floating
I’m fed up with like every scene,
Not a clique for me that I feel fit to be in.
begin to think too cynically, self critically, to worse degrees.
And personally,
There might me more than than two or three,
People left with less than negative impressions of me
But I say say what I mean, you can leave me be
Let me drop my hot takes in 3 AM tweets
Nobody left sayin make the best of the worst,
don’t know what’s bad til i’ve had better first,
Gimme bars are hardwired from a god with a smirk,
i’m hardly tryin, and i’m makin shit work
They all say I’m niche,
Say I sound too unique,
Gatekeeping me from your screen,
Must be afraid of me.
Some say they hate it
Just how intimidating
I can be when I’m sayin
Might as well be afraid of me
|
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3. |
Hardly Trying
02:59
|
|||
I remember when
I never left my bed
People made plans I’d turn em down
(ignore em)
i got sick of that,
got my day back,
but now it’s easier for me to burn out
(overworking)
I never get it,
where are my limits
I’m used to pushing through the worst.
(ignore it)
Back to bed and
I Can’t rest
Cause the things i never felt hurt now
So i get back up cause
I’m too high on a feeling like I never been
I’m too wired to sleep til 2 AM again.
Burning out on the screen, my throat's friying,
but in my head i think I’m hardly trying.
Always in a panic
Never felt I could manage,
Lighting my brain up for fun
(Can’t feel it)
Couldn’t stand around,
Hiding wanting to be found
Waiting for a stroke of dumb luck
(Isn’t working)
Who did they see in me,
Kept me from being me.
Nobody understood enough.
(Still feel it)
Saying they’re useless,
Making excuses
Guess it was easier for me to grow up
I’m too high on a feeling like I never been
I’m too wired to sleep til 2 AM again.
Burning out on the screen, my eyes dried and,
But in my head i think I’m hardly trying.
Feel like I’m dreaming every day again,
Just some thing keeping me awake again,
Til I’m pain again, I wonder how the hell,
The things I needed make me hurt myself.
I’m too high on a feeling like I never been
I’m too wired to sleep til 2 AM again.
Burning out on the screen, just do deny it,
But in my head i think I’m hardly trying.
|
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4. |
||||
I can’t keep second guessing things lately, feels like,
I’ve been getting misinformation like crazy, that time
you met me, and our conversations felt so one sided, saw it in your eyes,
Text me late at 1 AM,
Am I up tonight, on read all night
Tell me what you said,
Tell me what you think again,
No I’ll never get
You through my head
I’ve been getting misinformation
Never sure I’m right, or quite alright
You’ve been showing some Inclination but it’s out of my sight,
out of my mind,
I quit playing games like that cause,
People make up rules, just to lose,
Keep relaying misinformation, don’t what’s true, coming from you.
Tell me what you said,
Tell me what you think again,
No I’ll never get
You through my head
I've been getting misinformation
(not sure i'm right, or quite alright)
You've been showing some incliniation
I've been getting misinformation
you've been wearing down all of my patience
Tell me what you said,
Tell me what you think again,
No I’ll never get
You through my head
|
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5. |
Addictive Personality
02:58
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No I can't see you once and then just leave,
can't have you without making you a routine.
My addictive personality
makes you all I wanna see.
Got me reaching for another
make me feel like waking up late in early summer
But when it’s winter and I’m freezing,
I’m not feeling anything,
And seasons, start speeding
Never leave so I can think
No I can't see you once and then just leave,
can't have you without making you a routine.
My addictive personality
Can't get enough of you with me.
You keep me out of spirals
When Im uptight.
You feel like sunset and sunrise,
When it’s midnight.
When times aren’t fine
you say I’m alright,
why do I listen
No I can't see you once and then just leave,
Bad habits falling into bad routines
My addictive personality
can't get enough of you with me.
I really thought that I was getting better,
I felt like I had everything together
I don’t really need you.
But glad I got to meet you,
But why did I believe you?
No I can't see you once and then just leave,
Bad habits falling into bad routines
My addictive personality
can't get enough of you with me.
Lost in ways I still don’t believe,
Withdrawal hits even if I know I don’t need it
My addictive personality,
Makes you all I wanna see.
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6. |
Overcast
03:00
|
|||
Everything is always fading out and wasting away
Everybody always trying hardly finding a way, through
What an oxymoron is an honest actor
Let em go on, tell you what they’re after,
You’ll see more than what it is you ask for,
Nothing you can change, nothing to say that’ll factor in
Are you dreaming when you shouldn’t be?
Are you feeling all you couldn’t see?
Are you healing and breathing in, even if, leaving it, meaningless,
Are you sure that the future's overcast?
Cause it ain't storming yet.
And when the thunder cracks,
the wind says take the calm you get
I can't let it rest when I feel all of this at stake
Forgetting the eleventh hour's followed by another day
Nothing given nothing taken, nothing hiding away
Everybody gave up trying, only lying in wait.
Burning through their time, so unaware of it,
Turning off their minds, to avoid it scaring em.
Hurting other kinds of souls that tried to care a bit, no, never fair to them.
Are you dreaming when you shouldn’t be?
Are you feeling all you couldn’t see?
Are you healing and breathing in, even if, leaving it, meaningless,
Are you sure that the future's overcast?
Cause it ain't storming yet.
And when the thunder cracks,
the wind says take the calm you get
I can't let it rest when I feel all of this at stake
Forgetting the eleventh hour's followed by another day
|
||||
7. |
Culture's Dead
03:20
|
|||
They’re saying Culture’s dead
Canabalize what the vultures left
Autophagize the underfed,
Turning all the hurt around to survive it
Tell me Culture’s dead
Fuck it up like the cultist heads
What the fuck is left to get
Treat us like machines no wonder we sound like em.
This confusing voice of earth,
with un amusing choice of words,
you utilize the underserved,
take sacred space and make perverse
Got a problem, i’m a symptom
i’m the monster, i’m the whistling,
suburbanite product of the system,
Mixing old melancholy with new hurt
They’re saying Culture’s dead
Cannibalize what the vultures left
Autophagize the underfed,
Turning all the hurt around to survive it
Tell me Culture’s dead
Fuck it up like the cultist heads
What the fuck is left to get
Treat us like machines no wonder we sound like em.
i run back at it, my habit i make results,
A cult classic, with a classic case of a cult,
seeding sows,
reaping rows,
spin the globe round,
fetch what it was told now,
Bringin in bulk
It’s all echoes,
everything’s been said, Catch
22, ours bouncing back around again,
No it won’t stay, Rip the old ways from the grave, to get Re-arranged to the new frame we see fit
They’re saying Culture’s dead
Cannibalize what the vultures left
Autophagize the underfed,
Turning all the hurt around to survive it
Tell me Culture’s dead
Fuck it up like the cultist heads
What the fuck is left to get
Treat us like machines no wonder we sound like em.
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8. |
It's Different
04:03
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Be kinder to your mind
internalizing why you’re left
And let it go
Reminders of reminders
I try to forget
No,
Another something won't let me go,
Another something I hardly know
Are you listening to the silence,
In hiding, alone
Let me go
Darker dreaming that you shouldn’t have,
Nine times more than you should have had,
Won't let go
Finding echoes, from below the death throes, I know
But Another Something won’t let me go,
Another Something I hardly know
Are you listening to the silence,
In hiding, alone,
Maybe Love is something I i’ll never know
But another something won’t let me go,
It’s difficult feeling love
It’s different when you’re stuck under something
And I wish that I was done with this
And I wish that I could run from this.
Wish I knew to recover
some way to rediscover
the me I must have never been
But another something won't let me go
Another something I hardly know,
Are you listening to the silence
in hiding,
alone
Maybe love is something I'll never know
but another something won't let me go
It's difficult feeling love
It's different when you're stuck under something.
I wish that I was done with this,
I wish that I could run from this,
Wish I knew to recover, some way to rediscover,
the me I must have never been
|
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9. |
(have to)
01:29
|
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I have to lose track of the time i lost
Won’t get it back,
wasting idle thoughts.
I have to keep to lines that I forgot,
The worst at first aversion turned to cursing clocks.
I have to micromanage
I have to limit damage,
I have to look out for myself.
I have to rest my mind,
I have to check the time,
I likely might have lost track through the night
Why should I have to
Try so hard
To fly in sight of
the light from stars I know that
Spite, might rise high enough for some but I,
Want it to feel right.
|
||||
10. |
Let's Try This Again
03:17
|
|||
I say you don’t know me,
Guess I don’t know me either, shit
If God’s got something to show me,
can let me make time for it
sleeping worse, and i’m burning out on lost finds
I keep putting words in my mouth, but not mine,
I just wanna talk, I just wanna know that,
I’m not gonna go mad.
I get story arcs, have starts, middles and ends
The best allegories start to get to my head,
no,
i don’t know why
it’s been.
So, Let’s try this again.
Unsung songs, and words unsaid
But i get it,
no point in dwelling
in how it’s been
So, Let’s try this again.
Let me try this again.
I guess I could have tried harder,
Could have gone farther,
Big talk,
big blocks tripping up my walk,
Reminding me of what i’m not
I know I’ve lost it. what did I lose it too?
Staring off, overthinking like I do,
I just wanna talk, I just wanna go back,
I think i’m gonna go mad.
Story arcs, starts, middles and ends
It’s all getting to my head.
no, i don’t know how it’s been.
So, Let’s try this again.
Unsung songs, and words unsaid
but i get it,
no point in dwelling in how it’s been
So, Let’s try this again.
Let me try this again.
Do I enjoy this? Another voice in
The white noise static waterfall
Lonely Hellos and goodbyes might say it all
only 12 notes and I feel like I’ve played them all.
To the universe from earth to god to me and back, we quit talking,
Whatever happened to that,
I just wanna collapse, cause i know for a fact,
I’ve already gone mad
I guess I could have tried harder,
Could have gone farther,
Big talk,
big blocks tripping up my walk,
Reminding me of what i’m not
I know I’ve lost it. what did I lose it too?
Staring off, overthinking like I do,
I just wanna talk, I just wanna go back,
I think i’m gonna go mad.
Story arcs, starts, middles and ends
It’s all getting to my head.
no, i don’t know how it’s been.
So, Let’s try this again.
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11. |
Fake
02:42
|
|||
fake skies with asterisms
fake time in polyrhythms,
makes rhymes, oh have you read,
that its all a simulation
fake birds and bugs they’re eating,
fake people down the street
haven’t you noticed,
Those coded machinations
why do we get stuck in minutia
it’s never enough to move us
is nothing real
does it have to be
does nothing feel
like it matters in the end, we’ll see
(wil we)
Even if it’s a simulation,
We’re all still gonna play it.
fake songs about fake feelings
fake words with more fake meanings
Fake sights that we’ve all seen before
it’s all fake, fake, fake
why do we get lost in minutia
it’s never a cause to move us, say it
is anything real
does it have to be
does anything feel
like it matters in the end, we’ll see
(will we?)
Even if it’s a simulation,
I know that we're still gonna play it.
If there's a system we will game it.
Maybe we know, maybe we won't,
I got the patience.
|
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12. |
Vexes
02:42
|
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Do you know who hexed us
Are you feeling it affect us
From the solar plexus to the neck up it’ll wreck us,
Stress complexes rolling vexes
Feel perplexed unrested
Let us go,
Let us go.
The world is set
Stuck in unluckiness
Let’s see how fucked things get
How fucked it gets
An Unforeseen upset but
None quite unprecedented
Never know what we meant
What we meant
Do you know who hexed us
Are you feeling it affect us
From the solar plexus to the neck up it’ll wreck us,
Stress complexes rolling vexes
Feel perplexed unrested
Let us go,
Let us go.
Working through the pain in the same old slog
Circling the drain but the drain is stopped
Pointing out a devil when you need a god
Looking for a light in the dark again,
Looking for an infilled part again,
Getting lost far from where you’ve been,
All along
Do you know who hexed us
Are you feeling it affect us
From the solar plexus to the neck up it’ll wreck us,
Stress complexes rolling vexes
Feel perplexed unrested
Let us go,
Let us go.
|
||||
13. |
||||
Chitinous survivors
Lichenous fibers
Self righteous fighters
All lying
Dust in a spiral
In a cosmic recital
Nothing is idle
All rising
Some knelt at my alter
Unwell with lined coffers
Come hell or high water
I’m fine, you falter
You're burning bridges over rivers
Nothing running under
Turning into fissures
Over rolling thunder
Don’t worry, no hurry,
Watch what I can do
Don’t count me out yet too
I won’t go down with you
Enough summarizing,
Avoiding the point.
Do you run to horizons
Like you’re given a choice?
Inhabit a sliver
Between burn and shiver,
My skin is thicker,
And it destroys.
Some knelt at my alter
Unwell with lined coffers
Come hell or high water
I’m fine, you falter
Your burning bridges over rivers
Nothing running under
Turning into fissures
Over rolling thunder
Don’t worry, no hurry,
Watch what I can do
Don’t count me out yet too
I won’t go down with you
You're burning bridges over rivers
Nothing running under
Turning into fissures
Over rolling thunder
Don’t worry, no hurry,
Watch what I can do
Don’t count me out yet too
You won't take me down with you
|
||||
14. |
Find Me
02:43
|
|||
I’m Losing this
Animus
Ravenous
Dragging in
another sad excuse for self induced regret
Hell bent up
Intention
Reflection never me
Can you try me,
If you can find me,
Where I’m hiding out
Deny me
Deprive me
of a higher ground
I’m fooling my
Sense of pride
Left behind
Dead inside
bad influences
rotting through the rest
Can you try me,
Come and find me,
Where I’m hiding out
Deny me
Deprive me
Can’t tie me down
Try me
If you can find me,
Where I’m hiding out
Deny me
Deprive me
I’m climbing out
To higher ground
|
||||
15. |
Enough
03:09
|
|||
What fell apart this time and where,
How bad do you feel about that?
Did you know those with the most to spare
Never there, never cared,
Doesn’t that make you feel bad?
The code is so
sure to show the most,
post by post,
Blow by blow
(hey you)
Were you aware, could you be careful,
Are you scared, it’s all unfair
It’s terrible, and you gotta know,
gotta know
Do we wait
Until it’s over,
When we get another reason to keep up.
Wide awake,
All getting older,
The sunlight never feels like it’s enough.
But we keep on keeping up
We’re never running out of sun
If there’s problems,
you can rhyme em with solve em
Always easier to say, than do.
If they’re saying they’re unable
I’ll say that I Can’t too.
Fuel for finding solutions,
Diluted by the pollution
All the Caffeine and sleeping pills,
All the bad weed and fleeting thrills
The code knows to show the most
post by post,
Blow by blow, Hey you
Were you aware, could you be careful,
Are you scared, it’s all unfair
It’s terrible, and you gotta know, gotta know,
Do we wait
Until it’s over,
When we get another reason to keep up.
Wide awake,
All getting older,
The sunlight never feels like it’s enough.
Feels like it’s enough, it isn’t over.
Give yourself another reason to keep up.
Wide awake,
And needing more,
It's never enough
In keeping up,
we're never running out of sun
They're all dreaming about something else
Something too far from how.
Forgetting the one thing,
That’s ours, here, now
Tell me I can’t know what I want.
Is it bad that I might not.
But if I’ve kept up with the plot,
It’s not this.
It’s not this…
|
||||
16. |
Not This
02:23
|
|||
(I don't know what I want, but it's not this)
There was a place where
Your name rang a bell
Now I see your face in a crowd and couldn’t tell
Didn’t catch it when you said it
Was it too loud or did I forget it
Moving on without a mention
To Who’s trying to make me pay more attention
Fell in this direction I been set in
Tell me your intention,
tell me that you meant it
Oh look what you’ve done
Made me wanna run
Around,
Up and down,
How about
You now?
I don’t know what I’ve done
I guess I have to run around
Up and down
right now
Fumbled a couple times til I got it,
All we ever found ourselves are better problems,
I had something to say to you but I forgot it
All that we wanted
Did we really want it
want it
I had something to say to you but I forgot it.
I don’t know what I want but it’s not this.
Leaving it behind
and never speak
and never try
to be the right side
keeping in your right mind
sleeping on the types who
like to do nothing but find a fight with you.
leaving it behind for you
Oh look what you’ve done
Made me wanna run
Around,
Up and down,
How about
You now?
I don’t know what I’ve done
I guess I have to run around
Up and down
right now
Fumbled a couple times til I got it,
All we ever found ourselves are better problems,
I had something to say to you but I forgot it
All that we wanted
Did we really want it
want it
I had something to say to you but I forgot it.
I don’t know what I want but it’s not this.
|
||||
17. |
Used To
03:46
|
|||
I’m used to leaving feeling sadder than I started
I’m used to drowning out the sound when im departing
I used to be so used to you,
I used to be someone I knew
I’m used to silence, rooms I hide in til I’m fine to see
I’m used to conversations leaving room to breathe
I liked to think like I was through
I had to get reused to you
Why should I have to
Try so hard
To fly in sight of
any light from stars
I know that Spite, might rise
high enough for some but I,
Don’t feel right.
I used to plan for new days brighter and more open.
I used to measure all the paths we had to go on.
I used to see the difference through.
I used to see the future too.
I had to trust whatever made sense at the time
I had to put another’s head ahead of mine
What’s really me, unreal to you,
Some thought they had me sorted through.
Why would I want to
Try so hard
To fly in sight of
final lights from dying stars I know that
Spite, might rise high enough for some but I,
Want to feel alright.
Life, it's never a line
no ahead or behind
just a place at a time
I will always be trying to find
another reason to another rhyme
another season to tell me the time.
|
||||
18. |
(one more)
00:11
|
|||
That was ok.
Let's try this again though.
|
caseJackal Kenosha, Wisconsin
A stray birdsong from another universe's Jupiter.
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